Life after the Storm

In the lovely wee hours of morning, I've started reading articles online about raising your second child, summer camps for preschoolers, how to increase milk supply and then, how to raise your children when your family - the main people in your supposed village - are hours away. I know it can be done. I know of friends who live in different cities, states or even countries away from family and seemingly are able to handle the burdens of child rearing by themselves. Of course, I see snapshots of their lives on social media, so who's to say that they're adjusted? You win, universe. I desperately need help. It's only been two weeks but the lack of sleep, the mood swings and anxiety has started to take its toll on me.......I know, right? It's taking me this long to ACKNOWLEDGE that I actually NEED HELP? I've caught myself sleeping and slacking "on the job." I once woke up, believing I was sitting in my rocker, pumping away, only to find that I...

Did you know today is World Maternal Mental Health Day? Did you know 1 in 7 women suffer from a maternal mental health complication? Do you know at least 7 mamas? In my playgroup alone, there are 20 of us.That means at least 2 of us have had some experiences with mental health. I know of my own story. I remember when I visited a mama holding her third newborn, she shared her postpartum depression during her second baby.  We're here, silently, patiently, willing, praying that this thick and heavy fog of emotions suddenly just lift up and dissipate. Some of us barely holding on to our realities. Some of us bravely asking for help.  I wrote this post exactly 1 year ago today. I can hear myself crying. I can feel my wounds being cut open and this deluge of heaviness threatening to drown me. What I thought was just mere sadness turned out to be more consuming than I realized. I hid in closets. I stopped answering texts and pushed away my husband, my own daughter, my family and ...