Day 18 at the NICU

baby, i come see you everyday, i hope you know that. do you recognize me? i held you (this makes the fifth time i get to) for almost a full hour! some nurses will come in and take you away after twenty minutes, others will interrupt our bonding time after thirty minutes, but yesterday......yesterday, no one came after twenty, or thirty minutes....

i got to change your diaper too. most people (and to be perfectly honest, i was one of them not too long ago) would hate changing a poopy diaper. but, it was the greatest feeling to be able to change you.

its the little things.....

you even sneezed on me. but every so often, you stare....i know babies can only see about twelve inches (although, is this true for premmies?) i stared right back. i know scientists and doctors say that babies can recognize mommies heartbeats, voices and smell.....your hearing was just developed before you decided to come on out, and i didn't get the full chance of reading/talking/singing to you....

i really hope you know its me. that i come there everyday to see your precious face and hope and pray that a nurse will be kind today and let me hold you again...i'll take twenty minutes even.

but yesterday, my friend. the doctor put in the order to have kangaroo time with me. so i know when i see you in a couple of hours, you'll be plucked from your 'bed' and get to see me again.

better get used to it! they're also hoping that you can start feeding from either breast or bottle. which is very exciting!!! i'm trying not to stress out about my milk supply and the fact that when you do come home, i'll have to start thinking about supplementing with formula....but i'll think about that later.....

right now, all i want to think about is how much heavier you're starting to feel. how much fat you're starting to have around your once pronounced cheeks....and babies really do have that smell...the baby smell that i love.

yesterday you were at 3 pounds, 9 ounces. they started you on intermittent feeding to mirror actual feeding times....not continous feeds. you're doing so good, little one!

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