Showing posts from October, 2018

creator and a prisoner

👉”Postpartum Forest,” from my memoir Storm of Hope: God, #Preeclampsia, #Depression and me.” 👈
Sometimes my anxiety manifests in thoughts of things that may happen.  “I can’t go to a play date 10 mins away because I have to cross that freeway that always has wrecks. I’ve been lucky before but what if today is the day?” Or “I have to sit in line for 1 hour waiting for my kid, because if I don’t, she’ll think that I’ve abandoned her. What kind of mother abandons her kid?” These thoughts make my day impossible and I get overly anxious when a plan deviates. I live and breathe routine because if I don’t, I feel off kilter and perhaps, the world will work that way too. . . When I was younger I thought I wanted to travel the world and be the type of spontaneous person who just ... lives. I didn’t imagine I’d be creating for myself habitual patterns, one where spontaneity is both foreign and a thing that’ll incite a panic. . . When did I create this for myself? When did I lose my faith in myself? . . W…