12 weeks and saying hello to Pree
Just when it was starting to get good in the "prego" department - no nausea and food staying in - I get a "lovely" phone call from a nurse today. I did a 24 hour urine collection on Friday and received the results this morning.
I do have protein in my urine. It's "mild" but "slightly elevated than the norm."
Cue the burgeoning hysterics.
I am trying to take it "easy" at work and at home. I've been blessed and fortunate enough to have a husband that has shouldered most of the household responsibilities. What a blessing and an honor to see how much closer Ellie and her daddy have gotten!! I've taken more naps now than I have in the past three years. I'm starting to not really care how much of a mess my house looks. I haven't opened Ellie's closet or looked under her bed in a while for runaway toys or half eaten food.
I'm trying to distract myself. Trying hard not to break down in tears, especially not in front of Ellie. I think about all the possibilities, plan b, c, d, etc of what may or may not come in the next few months. I'm trying to pretend like I have some semblance of control here.
But I know control is just a pretense. No matter where you are, or who you are in life - control is in the eye of the beholder, but its universe's greatest joke.
A check mark on the rambling thoughts.
It is a comfort that they're monitoring me so closely this early. 12 weeks. I was 26 weeks with my first diagnosis. Medically, preeclampsia is not diagnosed until the 20th week of pregnancy but it seems I am reacquainting myself with an old enemy this early.
20 weeks.
I have 8 weeks for the inevitable diagnosis. 8 weeks of waiting, praying, holding my tears in and at bay, holding Ellie and praying some more.
I'm also taking comfort in the fact that in a few short weeks, it'll be Christmas. The little energy I do have, I managed to put my Christmas tree up early. I have four weeks of twinkling lights, red and gold sparkles and Christmas music serenading me all day.
Trying to staying cheerful and positive through all of this.
I've never been envious of anyone in my life, but I really wish just this once, I was like every other normal pregnant woman. I want to complain about food cravings, my pant size not fitting...... I do not what to worry about whether or not my kidneys are showing their strain or if my placenta is detaching or whether or not I'm going to hold this nugget.
Just this once.
I do have protein in my urine. It's "mild" but "slightly elevated than the norm."
Cue the burgeoning hysterics.
I am trying to take it "easy" at work and at home. I've been blessed and fortunate enough to have a husband that has shouldered most of the household responsibilities. What a blessing and an honor to see how much closer Ellie and her daddy have gotten!! I've taken more naps now than I have in the past three years. I'm starting to not really care how much of a mess my house looks. I haven't opened Ellie's closet or looked under her bed in a while for runaway toys or half eaten food.
I'm trying to distract myself. Trying hard not to break down in tears, especially not in front of Ellie. I think about all the possibilities, plan b, c, d, etc of what may or may not come in the next few months. I'm trying to pretend like I have some semblance of control here.
But I know control is just a pretense. No matter where you are, or who you are in life - control is in the eye of the beholder, but its universe's greatest joke.
A check mark on the rambling thoughts.
It is a comfort that they're monitoring me so closely this early. 12 weeks. I was 26 weeks with my first diagnosis. Medically, preeclampsia is not diagnosed until the 20th week of pregnancy but it seems I am reacquainting myself with an old enemy this early.
20 weeks.
I have 8 weeks for the inevitable diagnosis. 8 weeks of waiting, praying, holding my tears in and at bay, holding Ellie and praying some more.
Trying to staying cheerful and positive through all of this.
Isaiah 12:2
Surely God is my salvation; I will trust and not be afraid. The LORD, the LORD, is my strength and my song; he has become my salvation."
I've never been envious of anyone in my life, but I really wish just this once, I was like every other normal pregnant woman. I want to complain about food cravings, my pant size not fitting...... I do not what to worry about whether or not my kidneys are showing their strain or if my placenta is detaching or whether or not I'm going to hold this nugget.
Just this once.
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