And here we go again

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I woke up this morning due to the storm outside. A tornado warning sounded and then touched down not too far from where we live. Another storm in an already storm savaged city. Our lights flickered on and off before finally shrouding us in complete darkness. I watched the lightning making shadows against the windows. I almost jumped at the boom of thunder sounding so close to us.

Beside me, my lovely daughter and husband slept through the thunderstorm.

I tried to go back to sleep but had a pounding headache. Now I'm not so sure what woke me. The headache or the storm.

But I managed to get myself up and decided to check my blood pressure. It read 152/102!

I got dressed for work and tried to ignore my headache and listened to Christian music to calm my nerves.

By 7:30 am, I had a nagging feeling that I needed to tell someone and sent an email (!) to my OB about what was happening and ended the note with a promise that I'll call when the clinic opens.

By 8:30, I had a nurse on the line and she said I needed to come in now. Also, never email when it relates to preeclampsia symptoms.

I apologized and went in, did lab work, got blood pressure checked and did another round of Nonstress test. After my blood pressure came down to 128/70, I was told to go home and rest.

I slept after calling my boss and family about what was happening only to wake up to the same headache and blood pressure reading of 152/100. This time, accompanied with nausea and vomiting.

I calmly called the nurse and hoped that this time, I'll be admitted.

Which is where I am now.

My blood pressure is all over the place, the highest was 189/100 amd after a few hours (and drugs) later, its now steady at 120/73.

I'm not scared as I was with Ellie. I know what to expect. I remember what days in the NICU will look like.

I know how strong preemmies are. I've seen her strength, almost as much as mine. Or maybe mine was a reflection of hers. We both had to fight our own fight..

I've seen the light at the end of the tunnel. I've embraced strangers and shared stories about our Preeclampsia journey.

I'm ready.

Four years ago, I was a mess and turned to God for everything.

I'm still a mess. I still lay this fear and doubt over to Him.... but I'm at peace and I'm excited about meeting this little person who I know will be loved beyond measure. I'm excited for Ellie. Her forever friend will be here in the morning and our lives will never be the same!

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