Life after Preeclampsia: What happens now?

So I've been thinking about where I want this blog to go. I have thought about deleting - but I can never make myself get to that point. I've thought about merging it with my author site since I write about Preeclampsia and what it did to me, how it changed me.

I'm realizing that I am more than my diagnosis, I am more than what is in my medical file. I'm also a walking story and advocate. While I think that no one pays attention, I will get random messages about what it means to be a survivor and how to process the grief that came when baby is in the NICU and mama is home.

I think there are more stories that need to be told, not just mine.....and I hope in the future, I get enough stories to fill this entire blog of mamas and their precious babies.

The truths about motherhood aren't pretty, this we all know.
Each mama has their own story that need to be told. It doesn't matter how ordinary it seems, I think recently we've all believed in wanting to live picture perfect lives because our peers are living theirs.

I appreciate the funny. I love the mess. I am embracing my own chaotic life.

We may need to pause every once in awhile and ask ourselves, whose life are we living for anyway? How we parent has nothing to do with how another one parents......we all don't get to fall in love the same way, to the same person, what makes us think we need to have the same style of parenting? Because, essentially, isn't that what parenting is? We are in love with this tiny creature and we get to decide how to nurture them, how to love on them, how they are to love and treat others? Nobody else will get to love them the way we do.....so why are we asking another parent that? Why are we arguing over different parent styles when our love looks different? I didn't grow up with constant kisses and hugs. That's just the way my parents are. I knew I was loved though. I could tell when they were present in every extracurricular activity my sisters and I went to. I could tell I was loved when they drove hours just to make sure we made it to our games/plays/college/interviews/tests on time?

That's our legacy. Our children will know what love looks like when they have to describe it to others. How will they describe yours? By hearing you talk about others' and how "odd" you think other people's choices of love or life or parenting style is?

Our children listens.
Our children will know fears based on ours.
Our children will know love and hate because of our words and actions. Do you want that to be your legacy?

(that was a rant, I apologize)
I've decided that I truly need to be healthier. This could be due to the fact that I'm 19 days from my 35th birthday. But I want my children to grow up with a positive body image. I don't think I nitpick what I say about my body or about myself in front of my daughter. But who really knows what she's listening to when I don't think about my words or my own actions? I want her to stay positive and having preteens in the house for the past few weeks made me see that.

At some point in our adolescence, we stop believing in our own abilities and instead using other people's verbal attacks as reflecting pools for who we believe we are. When we badly want to be accepted, our more "popular" peers become a standard of measurement of which to aspire to be.

I'm still digressing here but the main purpose of this post is that I want my family to be healthy.

I also need to stick with a schedule, darn it! I want to hold myself accountable to be better and will post weekly updates about my habits.....which is difficult as I am a sugar addict. NOTE: I will not be advocating or selling any health related products. I'm going with "the tried and true" method of cutting junk foods and exercising.

I will aim to post on here once a week, for now and increase later.
"Wellness Wednesdays" to start this Wednesday! Have you thought about your health? What are you doing now? This tired and blessed mama is seeking advice and positive vibes!

Life after Preeclampsia isn't quiet. 
There are laughters from tiny babies who grew into strong and healthy children,
The smallest sniffles and coughs automatically mean 'break out the nebulizer.'
It's also the ticking sound right behind your heart.
Your risks of cardiovascular disease have increased from this diagnosis
and it's time to tell time and your heart that you are not ready to go Home just yet. 

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