2 months old

Baby, I can't believe how time is quickly passing us by! You've been home 18 days after spending 43 days in the NICU. I was so worried about how you and I were going to be.... would you know I was your mom? would you miss life inside the NICU? but right from the start, you were pretty cool with everything. You came home with a heart monitor...it downright sucks, but its been a few days since I heard it beeping signaling low heart rate or no breath. That means you're doing better which I'm so glad! You know me. I sing silly lullabies that I start to make up words to because half of them I don't remember. And you sit (well, lay) there staring at me, looking at my mouth...and when someone else has you in their arms, I've caught you a few times looking towards the sound of my voice. You love being held, little one. At first, I had this overwhelming need to make sure you weren't going to be spoiled and told everyone not to hold you all the time... but after the first two days, I broke. I couldn't stop holding you. You were that adorable and this guilt that I have for not holding you enough while you were in the hospital still lingers. I know its not my fault. Rules are rules and for awhile, we weren't allowed to hold you. Now that you're home and no one can tell me to put you down, I don't. I can (and have) hold you for the length of a day, pausing only to eat and sleep, of course. The future is still a mystery. No one in my family has ever had a premature baby and I google so much these days, it's starting to stress me out. BUT, you are determined and you've always got a frown on your face! You can lift your head up for a few seconds, can do a push up and lift your chest to look at something. If you don't like how your head is turned when I put you down, you'll move it. I relish every milestone you meet and you've so far exceed my expectations (no pressure on the future or anything) So much is at work in that little brain of yours. And you're growing so much, I thank GOD that we've made it. 2 months and I cannot wait for the next few forever with you.